I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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