The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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