We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
