We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
