Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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