I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
