He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
