Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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