Are we in a gay sports bar?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
