I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
