I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
