It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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