I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
