I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize