I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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