i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
