There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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