im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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