I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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