everyone is single if you try hard enough
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
