We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
