Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
