just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
