I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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