hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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