She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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