ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize