Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
