Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
