I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
