How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
