Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
