We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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