Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she peed on how many people?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
