I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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