she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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