why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
