you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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