By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
