I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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