Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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