come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
