JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
