i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
