i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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