check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
