I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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