is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
