2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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