she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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