i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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