im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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