Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
