I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Randomize
