I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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