so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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