my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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