She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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