best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
