He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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