I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm at about main and main street
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
