well I can't set my house on fire every night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
