Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
