you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize