I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
