If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
