My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
