you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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