Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
