I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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