I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
