Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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