Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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